EmRian11

05.24.12

So, I had this weird dream last night. Lol. There’s two sides of story. First part was I was raped by a stranger. His face was “POGI” but I don’t know him. Yes, a stranger -_-. The second part was there’s this guy I’ve met from a party last month. It’s weird coz I don’t even think nor thought about him and he just suddenly popped out in my dreams. Weird! He has good looks tho :)) So, going back from my story. I was in the Philippines with him. We’re in this store and he approached me from behind and asks me if I could be his boyfriend. Like wth?! Haha and I said “NO, i love Edward” and he said “he has no time for you anymore, I am here willing to take his place and love you”. Haha. I said “No. I love him. Don’t bother me”. and he kissed me and I just ran away……

Beep Beep *Alarm clock

Oh well, even in my dreams I can say, I love him. I can partially control my dream that’s the funny part of this story :D

21/05/12

Great in giving advises but when it comes to my self, I can do nothing. Damn. This fear inside me is slowly killing me. It’s been years since I haven’t feel this… I wanna let go. FCK. This fear complicates me. 

17.05.12

Peppered questions left unanswered, already deciphered.

Missing piece, left uncovered.

17.05.12

Utak nasa kalawakan. Katawan nasa lupa. Puso nasa kanya pa ba?

17.05.12

When someone cheated on you or screwed your relationship. It’s not em’, it’s you. You’re the one who let that person cheat on you. Your thoughts and feelings sabotage you.

It’s you who make things complicated instead of running away from it and forgive. You just repressed what you feel.

Later, when you’re walking on the sides of the streets or crossing a pedestrian lane; you’ll be shocked because the feelings you’ve suppressed within you will go out ballistically if you come across same path as he/she is. 

You think you’re already healed but it’s not. You just left what hasn’t been done right and keep it inside you like a venom that slowly kills you and will gradually shut down your system.

Some says, you can’t control your emotions but I disagreed. 

You can runaway from it but it will be inked in your memory and never forgotten. It will always be a part of you…. You may not remember it but it’s in your subconscious mind; you don’t wanna let it out. It’s a cycle but you can control it .

Been here….

I fought it differently. To make story short, I released all the toxic and tensions inside me and threw outside the universe. How did I do it? It took me a long time to figure things out. I am peppered with questions that keeps my head spin. Left me with untreated answer.

But 11.11.10 has changed everything. The missing part was already deciphered :) 

* I don’t wanna write errthing in detail because this will take forever.

Done this…

This will be a scar that left me treated and a lesson learned. 

Reposted: Boreeed XD

1.Who was the last person to call you baby/babe? EM PLINE XD

2. Anyone crushing on you? IDK and IDC.

3. What is your relationship status? IN A RELATIONSHIP

4. Has anyone ever sang to you? YES.

5. Has anyone ever given you roses? YEAH.

6. Who do you text the most? EM PLINE <3

7. First person to text today? EM PLINE <3

8. What color are your eyes? DARK BROWN.

9. What is a compliment you receive often? DI KO ALAM.

10. Who was the last person to say they loved you and when? EM PLINE. EVERYDAY….<3
11. Do you like your parents? YES.

12. Do you secretly like someone? NAH.

13. Why did your last relationship end? HE SCREWED UP!

14. Who was the last person you said you loved on the phone? EM PLINE <3

15. Who was the last person you kissed? EM PLINE <3

16. Do you like funny people or serious people? BOTH.

17. What are you listening to? YUNG TUNONG NG ELECTRICFAN

18. Is the last person you kissed older than you? NAH.

19. Are you happy right now? UPBEAT!

20. If you could have one thing right now what would it be? IDK -_- 

21. Who makes you happiest right now? FAMILY, FRIENDS, AND EM PLINE <3 PERO SI EM PLINE TALAGA HAHA.

22. Do you want to get married & have children one day? OFC.

23. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? YES. KAHIT ARAW ARAW PA YAN!

24. How many girlfriends/ boyfriends have told you they love you? LAHAT NG NAGING SHOTA KO SINABENG MAHAL AKO HAHA. 

25. Have you ever thought that you were going to marry a person? YEAH.

26. Are you crushing on someone? SI COCO MARTIN!

27. Have you ever loved someone so much that it hurt? LOL. YEAH. 

28. Have you ever made a boyfriend or girlfriend cry? YES.

29. Are you happier single or in a relationship? IN A RELATIONSHIP!

30. Have you ever told someone you loved them and didn’t mean it? YEAH NUN IMMATURE PA AKO. WAY BACK IN HS.

31. Have you ever had your heart broken? YEAH.

32. Have you ever broken someone’s heart? YEAH -_-

33. If you could go back in time and change things, would you? NO. FUCK PAST. HAPPY RIGHT NOW :D

34. Think any of your ex’s feel the same? IDK AND IDC.

35. Do you believe that you are a good boyfriend or girlfriend? I THINK SO. TODAY, YES :D

36. Have you dated people who were not good to you? HAHA. YEAA.

37. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? I DON’T GIVE CHANCES BUT TODAY, BAKA. WE’LL SEE.

38. Do you believe in love at first sight? HMM ATA?

39. Ever been given an engagement ring? NO.

40. Do you want to get married? YEAH.

41. Has anyone ever told you they wanted to marry you? HAHA. OO!

42. Ever liked someone else’s boyfriend or girlfriend? NO. 

43. Does heartbreak really feel as bad as it sounds? LAM MO UNG TIPONG PAULIT ULIT KANG PINAPATAY PERO POTA BUHAY KA PAREN. MASASABI MO LANG NA SANA MANHID KA NA. YUNG WALA KA NG MARAMDAMAN KASE POTA. ANSAKEET. HAHA. GANON YUN. BASTA! HIRAP EXPLAIN. BASTA MASAKIT!

44. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up with you? OO! OO! OO! 

45. Would you believe your ex if he said they love you? IDK AND IDC NEMORE’ THEY MADE A CHOICE AND MY FINAL VERDICT IS SORRY, NO!

46. Would you ever date your best male friend? IF I’M SINGLE. YES.

47. If your best friend of the opposite sex went out with someone you knew was wrong for them would you speak up? YES! PERO DI AKO MAKEKEALAM SA DECISION NYA.

48. Do you regret any of your relationships? NOOOO!

49. Would you date an ex? NEVER!

50. Ask anything.

05.16.12

I just wanna buy those wedges…. I have to wait for two more weeks to get my second paycheque. 

First paycheque would be this coming Friday but I’m spendin it to sth else. Papa’s birthday is on Friday! :D What to give? :D

05.16.12

Okay. So I still have one more week before I go to clinicals. This week is exhausting, really. I go to school from 8.30am to 1:30pm and work at 3:00pm to 8:00pm if there is no OT -__-

For this week’s module, I have to pass two projects at the same time on Friday and it’s my FINALS as well. Isn’t this great?! Na-uh! 

So yeah. Yesterday, I did my first 4 pages hand-written project after I worked. I did it an hour or so… It feels good am done with it! First stressor, eliminated.

Second stressor was eliminated tonight!!! T’was pree good :D My mood is upbeat tonight! Just here waiting for a call…. K.So.Yeah.Am.Cool. Need to think for another tagalog write-up….

*Chisel my brain, and dig deep — Motto for tonight! :D